The couple refused to pay the premium out of "principle" so ended up spending 13 days without water with their dinner.
They also claim they were told they could only get bottled water costing 2.5 euros (£2.14) and that they couldn’t order tap water or drink from their own cheaper bottles.
Greg and Christine asked to change room after coming back to find "masses of skinny caterpillars" crawling up and down the curtains which returned the following day after cleaning staff hoovered them up, but their request was denied and the creatures were "back again" the next day.
Christine even tried buying her own water at a local supermarket but was told this was not allowed by staff at the hotel, which is rated excellent with a score of 4.5 on Tripadvisor and was given four stars by TUI – the travel company the couple booked through, who they do not blame for the issues they faced.
"It was just a cash cow for the hotel," Greg, a surface coating chemist who retired from selling industrial chemicals in 2021, said.
"Basically, as far as I can tell, I think it was a run down hotel that they were flogging to death and making the maximum profit out of it before they made a decision on it.
"People say ‘flogging a dead horse’ and I think the hotel was a dead horse and they are trying to get every penny out of it while they can do it as a business.
"It’s like an old 20-year-old Jaguar that’s hardly ever been serviced and you know it’s going to be in the scrapyard in six months and you just flog it to death.".
Greg and Christine arrived at the adults only seafront hotel in Lanzarote’s Playa Blanca resort at around 10pm on July 20 by bus with around five other couples.
"Depending on where you look it’s described as a four or five star hotel," said Greg.
"We were met by one member of staff on reception, no porters, no directions, no nothing – book in, get your keys and cart your own luggage to the room."
Having been travelling all day, Greg and Christine "dumped" their cases and went for a few drinks in the hotel bar without paying much attention before hitting the hay.
But the next morning, on their way to breakfast, the cracks began to show.
"Walking along the corridor, you could see that the blue carpet was very faded and that there were areas with sewn-in patches – so the carpet had been patched up," said Greg.
"Now that’s not quite four star."
Despite the worrying sign, the couple enjoyed a "decent breakfast" before heading out to enjoy the town on the first day of their holiday.
That evening they were dining at the hotel’s main restaurant when Greg asked for some water and was told this would cost extra.
"We were told that it’s 2.50 euro [£2.14] a bottle," he said.
"I thought on principle, that amount of money for a bottle of water, I’m simply not paying it."
When Greg asked for tap water, which is safe to drink in Lanzarote, he was told that there was no other option than to buy a bottle. This happened a number of times.
He added: "The only option was to pay the 2.50 euros.
"The evening meals were very cheap – cheap cuts of meat and lots and lots and lots of salad piled up."
Despite the issues they faced, the couple said the offering outside the hotel was "pleasant", with a nice pool, "good sunbeds, adults only, no ruckus music or dancing animation teams".
Refusing to pay the hotel’s steep prices, Christine popped to the local supermarket and purchased a 0.5L bottle of water for 0.40 cents.
But no sooner had they sat down, than a waitress walked over and said they were not allowed to "use that".
Greg and Christine did not have water with their evening meal for the next 13 nights.
Not drinking water at tea time was not the only complaint Greg and Christine had about the hotel, which they advise others never to visit.